Damm you

because i refuse to back down

and i will not

for the ones who come dilligently for band every practice

for the soul of leaders who are willing and passionate like Yan Jun and Jun An

i will not back down

April...we shall see

Springfield 5th ROD just over on saturday

initially hoped to rally springfield seniors to the cause

but when i wanted to open my mouth

i realised they are not the people i want to talk to

it may sound all the way seems wrong

but.

i do not feel burning passion

nor fighting spirit

nor the will to help the band do well.

I felt none of those

No encouraging words could come from my mouth

No blood rushing to my heart and soul

None.

From this 40 odd seniors present.

I felt none.

But except for the some.

The particular some

i find them at my side in anticipation for this battle.

One of our darkest hour.

It was at the dinner table i see maybe not defying passion

but undying will.

Will that needs someone to pull them through.

At this table i saw Mingzhen, Jack, Geraldine, Esther, Joseph, Wei Siang, Jasper.

Leaders of the "Old Guards" i might call

In them i can feel my blood flow into my heart and soul

To let loose inspiration and determination.

Yes its a war on many fronts

Teachers (the 3 bitches i heard)

Members, their attitude

Leaders, training them to be worthy of Lead, Serve, Protect, Nurture

Possible internal strife of seniors

But hey,

i say we will defend our fronts and win the war.

For today, i am not alone anymore

There is no road for us to take now

We will carve our own road.

We will succeed

No.....

WE MUST SUCCEED!

Lead. Serve. Protect. Nurture

To Lead
To bring people where they ought to be, but not necessary where they want to be

To Serve
To put in whole-heartedness, group before self

To Protect
First to defend the group regardless right or wrong, no matter the status. In any situation no matter how desperate the situations.

To Nurture
Grow and develop new leaders to ensure continuity if not growth.

The creed of leadership..... My creed of leadership

Developed over the years through all my experiences.

In any organization ive led in, i have always followed this creed. This belief. Band, Karate and other passing projects.

Springfield and Ping Yi is effectively separated.

Many Springfield Seniors have decided to help ping yi for the coming SYF.

I dont blame them. If its where their hearts lies. They arent making any morally wrong decision. Theres nothing wrong. Ping yi is more supportive of the alumni movement. Be it time, money, effort, support. Ping yi have been giving the members, seniors tremendous amount of support. Formation wise, music wise, it is also more relevant because its still british style. All seniors know how to help. More importantly, our mentor is there. The man who taught all of us everything we know.

On the other hand. Spingfield have been doing all the opposite. The members themselves dont give a hoot nor respect the seniors anymore. All traditions and values have been lost. The marching styles was changed to American. Members dont care for the band. No Passion except a handful.

But To Protect

I have chosen my own school Springfield.

I just feel sad no one else shares the same sentiments as me.

No matter how much the members disrespect me

No matter how low the state of the band is today

It will always be my place of initiation as a leader

I will do my best to help them

In the end of the day even if they do not hit their target

I must impart in them that they know they did their best. I did my best

Character not results that matters

There will be no regrets.


To Protect.

oh yea

alas

attachment is ending~

haha

foodfare over not too long ago

my voice is still down

too much shouting already

then got to know a few promoters too

oh my god i feel so damm old

all 15-16 years old xiao mei mei


Ok

the club finally has gotten into place

now to see how my planned systems work

but i must remind myself

no matter how fantastic a system is

it will only work when there are willing and passionate people.

So far so good

looks like all these years in band

im finally doing good in other places of my lives

shows that training then can be applied anywhere

i hope to pass down what i could not in band


The Strength to command respect

The Knowledge to Lead

The Courage to protect

I shall see my system unfold itself in the weeks, months to come

Im full of hope

Here i am again

going to bitch about my life haha.

i do wonder

is it life that is hard by itself

or am i making my own life hard to pass

oh well.

training aint what it used to be

maybe i should be more selfish

its not that i dont want to teach

but it just seems nobody appreciates at all

at the expense of my own skills

i want to train

i want to be good

i want to improve

but i find it so hard

trainings are also devoted to helping and teaching

but i want to train

passing down at tp karate soon

i hope they will never forget that we still have a mission at hand

continue to strengthen ourselves

increase our intake

improve our skills

ultimately win the medals

its still a worry....

SIP is ending soon

end of this month

seems quick at times

simply slow and excruciating at times too

but its ending.

haha

i guess its one of those low times of life

i need a hug!!!!!



A walk in the snow

footprints covered

erm....

too long never update

i see so much rust and cobwebs around this blog of mine

what can i say,

a lacklustre performance for pesta sukan tournement awhile back

one mentally and physically demanding SIP

one super irritating and lazy intern at the work place

Sports Club and Karate camp so much problems

work tommorow again....

retraining should start soon for me

haha

getting weaker by the moments

first time in my life im blogging morning 9.30am!

haha

got nothing to do yet.

anyhow

yay!

xiaoshi lent me her mambo jamobo CD to rip!

i always liked oldies.

yay! x2

all projects are submitted

now left with just 1 presentation

the new intake will be coming later

haha

and im kinad dissapointed with huasheng

i want to believe he can step up to the job

but its kinda hard to believe

im worried after yijia and gang leave

no strong ones to take over

and we are still at our first year!

my god

TP results for today

3 gold

3 sliver

4 bronze

i got 1 gold 1 bronze for myself.

hmmmm i didnt thought i performed well today

Started off right

ended off crap

looks like i have to stop relying on my trusty middle punch

and start training the useless legs of mine

match score as follows

1--6-4

2--6-2

3--2-1

4--lost 5-3

haha

so much for dreaming to be good in this field

Life in one circle

That means that theres a begining

and yea

theres the end.

when you reach the end, you start a new begining

thats a circle no?

but what happens if you didnt end before you start a new begining?

paradoxical

haha i also dunno what the hell im talking about

sat is the tournement

karate recruitment was just over

maybe i should adopt a even softer stance

if it was the band, i would have machine gunned them

so much mixed feelings

dont know how to say

cronic exhuastion

lack of potassium

low blood pressure

these are symtoms i always thought that belonged to sick people

never me.

looks like im wrong

apparently i suffered from exhuastion after running 3km on sunday

blacked out

went in for a drip over night

blood test

results will be out next week

So ive decided to take up the president post in Titans Alumni

the place where i grew, learnt and become who i am.

i guess

my life has finally come in one full circle

im back where i once started

facing the same problems that were once a upon a time

so not winning the sports club election was a blessing in disguise

if not

i wont even know how to handle

i want to be .........

i want to make my life.........

i want to achieve..........

i hope...........

Im very happy today

just yesterday i was complaining that my life is squeezed into this week

and then today

on my birthday,

my whole life celebrated it for me.

had 4 cakes~

lots of presents which i always wanted

thanks, elizabeth, xiao shi, mei qin and jorine for the 1st suprise of the day in the lab

thanks, kai wen, andrew, samantha, hong tuan, melvin for the next one and the meal

thanks, yijia, nick, ying pei and the rest of the karate team for the wonderful belt and the 2 lovely cakes.

thanks everyone

it is the happiest birthday of my life

i am so angry at myself

how could i have lost 7-0

i thought that was left in the freakin past

i freakin screwed the selection up.

though i won the 2nd match 4-1

it was not enough to bury my anger.

i freakin no stamina

no good techique to show

maybe im just not good enough for karate.

ever searching for what i can do well

ever searching.

how do i beat terrence

seems that ppl with the name terrence always wins me

darn it

give me the strength so that i can win

the courage so that i can attack

the knowledge so that i can defend

hehe

long time no blog

well,

i did a mascot job during the food expo

got abused

touched

hugged

had fun with kids

but it was hot and heavy

a kangaroo costume.

hehe

took a pic with a pretty girl~.

ah

i didnt make the team this time

oh well.

work harder ya

plagued by multiple injuries that wont heal

crap.

Ran for sports club

173 votes

guess im aint that popular huh~

so much to do

which i havent get down to yet.

ah crap

haha

Stupid Blogger.

i see nuts.

Anyway, 1 gold 1 bronze for IVP

Aint that happy.

I should have gotten the kata bronze too.

Dammit

Stupid Knee.

National Trial today.

I dunno how i did.

But i do hope to make the damm team.

**fingers Crossed.

Very Suay-ly

I injured my knee on friday.

So i didnt fight my best for sat and sun

but still,

being injured opened a new kind of fighting for me.

Forced to wait and react

not my thing

but its good tecnique.

well,

CCA recruitment just ended.

A nightmare for me

so im glad its ok.

Not easy handling the entire sports section

plus your own karate side.

Also have to listen to people "sing" in your ear.

Not happy at all.

I sometimes wonder why am i doing all these.

At times like this,

it would be nice to have some love around.

haha.

On the up side,

i got to know the captains better.

Surely make my work easier in the future.

Choosing the next captain.

Should i hold on or should i pass on.



One step at a time

One girl at a glance


Determine my future

Another sprint of inspiration from some thoughts~

<100>

would you wipe my mouth when i eat,

and hold me in your arms like im a kid?

Are you willing to do all these,

one hundred years from now?

Could you lend me your shoulder,

when i cry or when i sleep,

even when im just feeling lazy.

do all these for me ya?

one hundred years from now.

And Just like in a fairytale,

can you sit with me to watch the sunset,

Ill hold your hand in the waltz of our life,

dancing away forever......

even one hundred years from now

forever and ever

one hundred years from now..........



Gim kai
2304Hrs

And so Sports Leadership Training Camp 2007 have come into pass,

id say this is one of the more interesting camps ive been to.

not programme wise, but the nature of the camp itself.

i thought it would be nice to be a participant of the camp first before becoming the leader,

but looks like i took a jump forward.

nonetheless,

its interesting to see a camp of would be leaders.

observing it makes me realise the saying,

"some people are born great, while some have greatness trust upon them".

Ill be looking forward to next years SLTC.

Oh,

i saw this girl in camp

too bad didnt have the chance to talk to her.

got me tickley inside.

oh well,

such is fate

wow

for the first time on saturday

i tried ice skating

kinda liked it

kinda interested in learning roller blading because of that

thought it would be a good skill to pick up.

Saturday was fun

first outing of us hayashi karate

(exculding the old people) haha *nervous laugh

we should do it often

its good for the team

and we can form the hayashi skating team!!!!!!

upper upper on the ice~

100th post

The Centineial Post

After 3 years of blogging i hit the big 100.

A post worthy of reflection

what ive been doing with my life these years

What do i want to do with my life from now.

yes......

what do i want to do from now.......

Captain, Temasek Karate

Prompted to run for president of Sports Club next yr

score better for my results......

improve my skills as a fighter....

Do i need all these

i ask myself.

If you ask me,

im least interesred to run for president

continue my captaincy.

But before i leave TP

i would want to see my dream fullfilled.

So yes i would run for president

continue my captaincy

and execute them with vigour.

I just hope

my dream will reach out to many others

who will in turn share these dream with others.

Its not a sport

Not a hobby

Its what i do.

"Fly away" by Corrine May

i Like this song

very meaningful lyrics.


"When will you be home?" she asksas we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleedsand yet she says to me
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
SIlver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flightI held her as I cried
You can fly so highKeep your gaze upon the skyI'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apartI
love you too much to make you stayBaby fly away
ohh...I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

today something extraordinary happened......

words cannot describe how i feel......

it was a heart stopping moment........

it was.......

love at first sight....!

my goodness.....

i saw my dream..........

dream..........

dream.........

BAG!!!!!

haha.

yea that was nonsense of what i just said.

but i did saw a bag i really like.

not too small,

not too big,

alot of compartments just the way i like it

durable

comfy

and its the camel brand, real stuff.

for those who dont know,

camel produce hard stuff.

i wld like to take photo and poste it here

but my laziness forbids me so

haha

i got my adidas full training/overseas bag

i got me school/training bag

now im gonna get me a pure school bag from carrefour i saw today

haha

IF

i got money

sian

it seems life is kinda weird now

when you are young, studies takes center stage

now in poly,

i cant even get to do the things i want during my holidays?

this sucks,

down by so many irritating aliments

and overseas training is coming friday

i want to get well soon!!!

damm.

a hardened image

but surprised by the warm and soft hands.

My heart skipped a beat

The following is written in inspiration from a long conversation i had last night. it is written also for this person =>

The Measure of Me

written by: me

How do others measure me?

By the glories of my past?

The actions of my present?

The plans of my unspoken future?

The medals of my game?

The degree of my literature?

The beauty of my wife?

The pedigree of my children?

The granduer of my house?

The trail of dust my car leave behind?

Or is it by the height of my tombstone,

where the metals of my game,
the paper of my literature,
the wrinkles of my wife,
the growth of my children
the rubbles of my house
the scraps of my car

comes in naught.

I will tell you how i measure me.

By the lives ive tried to inspire and change

By the days ive lived in happiness

By every moment i have not crumbbled to pain and death.


Above all

By the knowledge that my heart feels love. as much as pain

By the seconds i stay alive and well

In all the units of measurement of the world

This is how i measure myself

i got me a electric mosqito squatter

die you blardy mosqitoes

die

die

die.

damm, i read about 1/3 of the book in 2 days

amazing, but true.

it might seem little to story fanatics out there

but hey

its gim kai we are talking about here

he dont blardy read.

i just found out 5mins ago

you cant keep good chocolate in your mouth,

you are suppose to bite em

thats when it taste nice.

lol.

at least thats what i think,

do correct me if im wrong

i did something unbelivable today

i actually went to kino

and bought 2 books worth 40 over bucks

haha

i dont freakin read

but i bought books

one is a spartan story

something got to do with upcoming movie "300"

i such a sucker for war stories.

another is a collection of piano scores

lots of nice oldies to play

im gonna memorise "moon river"

hehe

Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change.

The courage to change the things i can

and the wisdom to differentiate both.

Wake up you bloody fool......

wake your bloody idea up........

To dream the impossible dream

To fight the unbeatable foe

to bear the unbearable sorrow

To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong

To love pure and chaste from afar

To try when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable star.

That is my quest to follow that star

No matter how hopeless

No matter how far

To fight for the right

Without question or pause

To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause

And i know if i'll only be true

To this glorious quest

That my heart will lie peaceful and calm

When im laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this

That one man scorned and covered with scars.

inspiried by the mini-series (Band of Brothers)
"We Stand Alone Together"

Other then achieving victories,

the most memorable moments of my leadership life in band was rallying the people,

rallying to encourage them

rallying to face adversity.

That moment where your voice ring out on the field,

where your men stand at attention

where you feel the air around you literally change

Where at that moment many hearts unify to beat as one.

When you feel that,

you know

your voice have brought the diversity of many to become one.

you know

all of us are finally one.

"From this day

to the ending of the world.

We in it shall be remembered.

We the lucky few

We Band Of Brothers.

For he who today sheds his blood with me,

shall be my brother."

so proud of myself

managed to revamp my blog

yay

haha

is cheering someone up a skill?

can anybody teach me?

so i be the best friends of everyone

haha

greedy arent i

but who in the world will curse themselves for having too many good friends

i enjoy meeting new people

dunno why~

but its always fun yes?

something random

i like listening to oldies

but dont call me old

or ill dug ur eyes out with a rusty spoon.


are my emotional injuries self infflicted?

i somehow think so

haha

live fast

stay strong

die easy

cant believe it

2 days ago i was at a friends house playing "21 points"

3 times i got double aces, which meant triple pay!

but each time the banker got 15 points, which gives the banker the right to void the game and restart!

sian...

haha again, its just a game really

on another note

my life has transisited about 90% different since 2004

friends,

life,

activities,

many more,

it aint a bad thing after all

i did want t new life when i started poly

i guess i somewhat almost did it.

the remanants of my old life comes in the shape of people

people you want to forget but just cant bear to.

darn it

haha

on another note

im just so proud of myself for sewing back my own karate gloves

it doesnt look all that nice

but its decent enough

should have let yingpei sew it for me

hear that yingpei!!!

next time ask you to sew for me

haha

chinese new year is getting boring by the year

even the food!

luckily the ang bao izzint

if not ill stop visiting all together

dont run away if you got married

cause ill be knocking on your door to ask for ang bao!

wish me luck

i bought 4D for this saturday



forget the past,

live the present,

take on the future,

with her in my arms, i feel age is catching up on my short 19 years of my life

shes my grand niece

did i say GRAND niece?

yea i meant GRAND niece.

haha

my oh my

life is flashing back to me, i was like her once

how im this big

how time flies!

Pain is in the air

oh~

pain is in the air

haha

i say tt cause im experiencing some pain

when i run recently

i experience sharp pain on my right shin

sharp pain,

its real sharp pain

damm azure for sweeping me during training last wedsday

haha

on a lighter note

i have cookies and brownies courtesy of yingpei and yijia

i so love sweets and confectionary

specially if its handmade

i just have a thing for handmade food

oh

the bronwnies are nice

and the cookies are nicer haha

oh my god

a week of illness has reduced my stamina to crap and shit

was huffing and puffing at training at ngee ann yesterday

went for a run today, the first 3 click was still the same

but thats about it, i was wheezing after that

usually i can go for about 5 click before i run out of gas

darn

need to retrain again

sianzz

oh the other hand

travelling wasnt that bored with the girls accompanying me

the long trip can get really sian

i swear to god

this year hasnt been a good year really

so much confilct with so much people

i always thought its them

maybe its me whos the problem??

god knows

i also do not know why im so concered about others blabbering

i used to throw shit back with no remorse when people throw shit at me

but know i feel like a whimpering monkey whos scared of this and that

damm......

signs of growing up?

or just a case of shrinking guts.

anyway

went to malaysia for karate demostration today

a short trip into JB

fun nonetheless

was talking to some girls at my table during the banquet (they treated us to a banquet!)

haha and it was a good talk

lots of laughing and jabbering. HOWEVER,

worse of all, i forgot to take pictures with em!!!

how bad can the year get!?

@%$^$$#%

oh well

good experience.

despite the hectic schedule

and super busy projects,

and presentations,

TP karate finally started

it aint that easy

but it started

finally, after 2 years of pushing

now to form a committee and make things happen

TP will be the no. karate institue in singapore!!!

what a way to start 2007

got shot up quite badly by a friend for caring too much

haha

and then i got shot up again at night by someone else over matters i not discuss here

that leaves a badly shot up me

thats like a equal of 2 heavy machine guns unloading on me

haha

cant ask for a better new year day can i?