alright, i must say, after blog surfing. i must make a very strong point to people that some blogs are so freaking hard to navigate i seems that the entries are even smaller then some pictures. my god. people pls make it sensible not fanciful. who cares about your layout, people just want the juice and thats the entries. hehe. that asie, i got a double promotion in karate to full brown, one step away from the black. sensei promised me a black but in the end he says slowly first. i agree. wearing black has its pressure. so im gonna enjoy my brownhood~. it feels something like a full fledge bachelor except this is karate. getting black is like getting married. haha. ok next thing. i think i will go back to band now. haha......i did spend 4 fantastic years as a student there. secondary sch was about band to me, not some stupid maths sums or literature crap. haha (but the teachers of those subs are very good to me). well, thinking back, i must have been out of my mind to leave like that. haha, the egoist bastard? well band is about the members, not just one man. he is a great man. but i must say, 6 months away sure changed my perception. i feel that poh must have at least this length of break. like even the break is still part of the leader training. it allows you to feel more at peace. let you ponder on things you never thought u would think before. the 6 leaders crede was modelled after my leadship life story in band. Lead, Serve, Protect, Nuture, Guidiance, Direction. 6 stong words. In the 6 months i came out with 2 more.

Hope----in the midst of this strong organiation, i just feel that hope is missing. i would like to put that people who dont agree to the leaders are "lost people" maybe the light from hope can bring them back. In the darkest hour of the band, hope pulled us through. but in the brightest moments, we forgot about hope. This is a value we must instill in the younger members where they will hope to strive for even more improvment. beyond this light, they will see another light above

Belief--- hope is just a mere dream without belief. these are simple words. but many stood by these simple but powerful words in their darkest hour. but at the top, these are forgotten. there is a struggle above every struggle. more improvements after improvements. never ending self-promtions. to do this, we must never be content with now. but be better then every future

im not a fan of hard rock music, but i saw this lyrics recently, really liked it, felt it was very meaningful, like its my other alter-ego. so here goes--


The flinch in your eye calls your bluff
Feel free to die when you've had enough
Useless cause is breaking your back
Your life will end when you attack

Make your move
Make your stand
Make the win
Like you can

See the war
See me rule
See the mirror
You'll see a fool

To take me out you must fight like a man
You've yet to prove that you can
You've yet to prove me that you can
I see your might and it compares to something
That is if something is nothing

Time to figure
Time to sin
Your time is done
When you begin

Live for suffer
Live for revenge
Now your life
Comes to an end

Taste the blood
Taste your fate
Swallow your pride
With your hate

Your last breathe
your last stance
The last of all
In your command

Knees in the blood with your crying pleas
Wade in your sorrow, bathe in your fear
Clear the mind from righteousness suffered
Witness the moment of your failures prosper

this is shit man.......stuck in a near useless project group. Dysfunctional i must say.
heres the group analyse as follows
S.H----dreams and hald died. during project discussion, when it comes to crap talk, she suddenly become alive
B.C---acutually theres nothing much wrong about her, just that, when our grp has any problems she can tell the whole world and me, her group member would be the last to be consulted. it seems some of her friends are taking a pity oh her (god knows what she told them) and have been indirectly attacking me
Z---i think the only sane lot, but always distracted. always get left out but that 2 chinese girls.

OR MAYBE

im just hard to get along with and too demanding. it gotta be either way......
well thats about it, keep posted till then

jealousy breeds uncomfort
uncomfort breeeds anger
anger breeds hate
hate breeds mistakes
mistakes breed more mistakes

i'm jealous........
feel like hitting something

dont know why, maybe im a very possesive person.
i just dont like her with him
but, its her freedom
besides we got nothing to each other.

i wanted to watch the fireworks with you...but i canr, he was there first
i want to celebrate your birthday with you...but i cant, he was there first
i want to be your best friend...but he was there first
i want to screw him...but you are there

ok i lost the tournement, got beaten up pretty bad, 2 K.Os, no medals, no pride, no honor. no story. that was sometime ago, didnt post cause of all the hectic project schedules. life is busy with projects and tests. miss the life in secondary school.....yea...do miss the band. but i want my life to be forward looking.......training hard at karate, gonna get my black soon (yes!!! finally). life is fullfilling. did many things =>

ok i lost the tournement, got beaten up pretty bad, 2 K.Os, no medals, no pride, no honor. no story. that was sometime ago, didnt post cause of all the hectic project schedules. life is busy with projects and tests. miss the life in secondary school.....yea...do miss the band. but i want my life to be forward looking.......training hard at karate, gonna get my black soon (yes!!! finally). life is fullfilling. did many things =>