Lead, Serve, Protect, Nurture

Hey, yesterday had been a day I wont forgot, for actully night literally. I had a long long long long long time since I had a nice chat with this particular long lost friend of mine. (actually I lost this friend and not she lost me) we talked about so much things and all it started was a simple hello! I really have to say a big sorry to her cause I neglected this friend to fulfill a tremendous task. Now that this task is already fulfilled, maybe I should now seek to put my pieces of life around me back again. Well yesterday was already the first step!!! Hey got this warm fuzzy feeling eh? We talked about so much, about how have we been doing and so much about our thoughts during that whole time I was serving the country, no wait, the school? Hey no, the band. Hehe. So yea. Anyway, after we had our chat, I remember that she gave me a card after my April 17th judgment, and that card is about encouragement eh. Haha, warm fuzzy feeling again!!! Hey it is really proven, people of the oppos...

Today wasn’t a very good day to me. I almost got into a fight……. Those malay bastards was playing cards at me area and I kindly asked them to go to their place to continue playing. Bloody hell, they got the cheek to ask me to shut up and get lost. Man! I kept quiet and hold my temper and asked again. This time they ignore me. Too long have I gave way to them, ever since last year they were making fun of me for any stupid reason. Things that are not suppose to be funny they can make a joke out of it and get everyone to laugh with them. That is something I don’t understand, why do they keep picking on me?....... I gave them their way all this while was reason being I have a reputation to keep for the band as well as my own. But now, hack care!! I’ve stepped down, I’m graduating in 3 weeks time. Then of course I scolded back, those people hurled vulgar languages at me, God Dammit, I speak Hokkien you bloody son of a *****. I think what you people said, most of the time you don’t know the ...

Alrite here I am again typing stuff down which I feel like doing, say, blogging is actually a good way of reliving your stress if you got no one to talk to. Of course, don’t start swearing and cursing at people cause that’s not very nice. Haha. Some people learnt that lesson the hard way ya?? Say just read people’s blog about love this, love that. Haha, somewhat I don’t really feel good when I see it or hear it. I don’t know, maybe feelings are something that I feel is weak, even love or sadness, missing someone, depression, all this I feel are what makes a person weak and vulnerable. Or course with the exception of happy of anger, cause this feelings are somewhat “hot” unlike the subtle feelings felt as said earlier. Every time I watch a touching movie or those charity shows where they make you feel all pitying, I would for some reason turn the channel away to something else. Maybe I dun like to feel that kind of feeling. My short stint of that “incident” during the june holidays we...

Its been a long long time since i last blog. Was busy for my prelims. Say, i am wondering if anyone actually comes here to read all this stuff i wrote? providing the fact i did go around telling people about this blog ya? Whatever the case, it is of no concern to me. I guess my life is simple without much going happening except band and studies and for hobby, martial arts. Come to think of it, i sort of realiesd that i actually had a huge fear of something. No im not afraid to die. If one day my life have served its purpose then so be it. I am more of afraid of being used in the past tense, to be forgotten. Maybe tommorow, i get knocked down by a car and pass on, what would people say of me?? Most probably, "Gim kai was this", "Gim Kai was that" and then as part of a cycle,becomes a memory and then finally forgotten. Then somebody would most probably take the my place in people's mind. Maybe a new friend, whoever it maybe. Then all that you achieve in life becom...

For everything there is a season ,And a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate, A time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

hahahaha, i did smthing crazy today, i go barber cut my hair and guess wat i asked the uncle to shave my hair!!! The uncle was like, "you sure or not?" "i going to cut already!" "confirm ar?" haha, i say okok lar, just go and cut it!! this hairstly sure feels great, the wind blow can feel ar, the water can also feel ar, i tink everyone should go and cut!!! damm shiok!!

Hmmm.....well, smtihng caught my eyes just now, or rather reminded me, and that is the influence that people have over others....well.....some of you out there might think that you are so small, so insignificant to have an impact on others or maybe even influence their minds (even me) and because of that you do things rather insensitively...hmmm..or sometimes you do or say things and unitentionaly affect ppl around you. Thats rather common i must say, but each of us must keep in mind that what words we say or things we do might seemed inconsequential to us, but it might be a whole world to others ya?? I never really believed in that even i knew it exsisted untill just now. So a mesage to others, be mindful of what you say and have a heart to others, you might never know when will someone say a word so powerful that it will affect your puny little lives forever

well, im typing tis at wat....2am in the morning so im abit cranky, wrong spelling might occur so bare with me.....just read ruby 's blog just now and i must say tt its really gd to hear tt she had such emotions overwealming her when she was on stage...hmmm. wat can i say, such feelings are so hard to come by, ppl might even only exprience it once in their lifetime, the last time i had emtions running in my veins was this year(syf 2004) and before tt was wat....pri6(syf 2000) 4 years apart to feel it for 5mins...haha..okok...i woke up at 5 tis mornig, at my breakfast at 6 behind sch and had my last parade today...okok blah blah blah, nothing much really happened untill when i was going home, when i was crossing the road(okok, i was jay-walking) i was talking to my friend who was at the other end of the road, so my head was turned backwards while i stand at the crib at the middle of the road. Just then i wanted to take a step foward to cross the road without seeing whats infront, as...

Greating ppl , im back again, i just felt tt i shld make my thoughts known since i cant bring myself to say it to the people i tried talking to. Well due to recent events tt happened to some of the ppl around me, i realised how far i am away from the ppl that are around me, hmmm i gt these 2 ppl slipping into depression and i tried talking to them, and then i realised one thing, when i tired to console them, all the big talk and theories of life start blurting out of my mouth....now......it turned out useless and well, i felt fustrated. I realised that im still lacking in one thing, the human factor of me, i cannot relate to ppl.....maybe partly is because of my beliefs. To me tears are but signs of weakness of a human.....human are such weaklings, so prone to emtions......haha, now, ppl might me start cursing me now when they read this, (what the hell, u not human?) well yes i am.....Hmmmm despite me telling them so much things, they still stay down there, guessed theres nthing i can ...

well its been excatly 3 weeks after the finals and here i am finally penning (or typing) down my feelings down. Hmmmmmm.....wat can i say?.....it has been a great roller cosater ride for me really, remember the days when i was slogging out just to learn the basics of macework (guareenteed slowest learner ever of mankind history) to the high flying throws that wowed a stadium of 60,000....man.....the road had surely been long and difficult....come to think of it, how did i maange to go through it?? remember the scoldings, the encouragement members gave to one another....yes...it was still vivid in my mind!!! I remember always asking the members "are you tired???" haha and also the camps the break us and made us!!! The sounds of firebird, phantom still ring in my head everytime i wld go pass ping yi or see ping yians. Haha o ya, surely where gt so much gd memories? sure gt bad memories lk the backstabber united and tt TING which i prefer nt say it here (mr poh and sm majors wl...

Its been like a 1000 yrs since i updated my blog, kinda lk always didnt pop into my mind abt updating it untill just now while reading sm other people's blog, so here i am pening down my thoughts about the serveral erm....unpleasnt events that unfolded this past few weeks or days.....Lisa and sheryl came to me and to talked about the events that unfolded and i liked kinda aticipated it when they first said that wanna talked to me about some VERY important matters. And so it is, i havent been living my name as it should be and letting things affect my life VERY VERY VERY DRASTICALLY. I cld see in lisa's eyes tt major dissapointment she had in me and i feel...how would say....rather pain stricken. Not by tt dissapointment, but about myself. Im sure i nt only dissapointed her but to everyone who i have lead or led before out there especially to my mentor...he said i have already failed as a leader.....i have no comment to tt except to pick up where i have left my passion,my resol...

alrite hello ppl, got my exams back, failed 4 sub, dun wanna tok abt it..... well chinese O levels is on next monday, hope can compensate for my shitty results by doing well!!!!! Read my boss blog just now and got to knoe more on the word called trust....Man.....heartache for him ar......just hope tt i can do my best so as not to let him down for as others have!!! pledge my alligence to him!!! well i wanna thnx my niang(you know who u r) for putting a smile on my face this few days eh? hahaz alritez just wanna comment on e band prac on sat. well, lots of fun is missing partly because of we sec 4s!!!! also i hope tt zach can do well in his acadamic and leading, cause i gt high hopes of him even if he is a ping yian, i tink he can go very far, futher then most of us and edwin, he kinda dissapoint me a little when he kept toking about HER, tt will always be his weak spot and tt weak spot will also be his killer.

woke up at 11 tis morning feeling damm tired.... enjoyed yesterday but dunno y didnt have tt much of the fun everyone had.... wonder whats wrong wif me eh? well yesterday edwin got choosen as the DM of the band, its not tt i doubt his ability to lead the band, on the contray, i feel tt he will lead the band better than i did but i just have my reservations about him. We rose up together, but he fell before me. theres smthing i dun understand, am i really tt lousy a leader that i had to be trained from the scums of the earth?? or have i been leading a life trying to do all the right things tt if once i do smthing wrong, ppl starts to blame? dunnoe, but i guess theres how tings were? hiazz....cant be bothered anymore, just hope tt edwin will live up to tt expectations since trying to make him since hard. so at the end of the day, i dun tink i wanna tink abt it anymore and do my best it bringing the next miracle of the century!!!!

alrite im back with my 3rd update, was watching last samurai just now.....yea i knoe i have physic exam tommorow but who cares.....haha......well, i got rather inspired and motivated by that show again, man,.......l realised the spirit of the samurai was why i joined karate in the first place, but after awhile guessed i lost it, i tink its time to find it back!!!! the fury in which one execute his moves determines his spirit, of course lazy is another thing, haha. Heres my analysis on fighting spirit in martial arts. A complete attack is executed with the "KIA" (shout) and the move. The release the full potenial of your attack, one must use his KI. only then his spirit is intergrated into his punch ,kick or wadever, therefore releasing its maximum power!!! and so im gonna fail all my papers, dun even knoe wat the hell im writing on tt paper

man....today was a bad day for me.....damm sick man...i hate tt feeling...imagine u have a headache, running nose and flu while doing ur MATHS PAPER!!! kao, its shitty man!! came back home with a headache, after bathing, headed for the bed and slpt.....woke up and den slp again.....wondering how am i gonna pass my chem tomolo man. anywayz bands starts tis sat for the band, wonder if i wld get chased off if i go back huh? see lar, mr poh if u reading tis better tell me if can or not hor? haha, alrite i better get out of here, my headache is coming back...............ouch......ouch......arrrgrgggg

heres my first blog ever, i dont tink i can write everyday but will try though.....guess this is a outlet for people to know me better though......yesterday mr poh told me tt i tok too much lk a leader even when im outside band, therefore my peers in band dun really like me at all..... i guess that cant be helped to me. my ultimate goal is for people to see me as a leader insdie or outside band, everywhere i go.....haha guess all these came as a package for me when i chose this road of iron and steel (heartless and merciless)..... but no worries, now i have someone who appreciates me, unlike those people back in sch.....shant say who, haha......tomorrow's my maths exam yet im here typing this, haha, nvm, never liked maths.....July is the finals, going towards the direction of the mace of honour or better known as the best dum major award.... i have already achevied everything in band, being a drum major, gd playing standards(even though i nv touch the tuba for sm time!!), led the b...